Put Myself First?

Recently Eden was invited to participate in a sticker exchange that my husband jokingly called a pyramid scheme. The gist of the exchange is that you send 6 copies of the letter to your friends, and one packet of stickers to the person written on your invitation, and within a couple of weeks, Eden should get 36 packets of stickers for the price of sending one.

Giving often works that way. When we give to people and for people, we are rewarded many times over. We probably don’t receive money or stickers—the reward is often internal and longer lasting than that. Giving has a way of reaping benefits and building connections with other people. You have probably heard the term “paying it forward,” referring to the idea that if you give to others, then when you need something in the future, someone will give to you.

There is a popular TV reality show called The Biggest Loser that I often watch. Although there are many things I enjoy about the show, I don’t always agree with the trainers. One of the philosophies that they promote is that people need to “put yourself first.” In this week’s episode, one of the contestants, Michael, was given the power to choose teams for the players. He made his decision based on what would help him stay on the show the longest—basically stacking up his team with the strongest players so that they wouldn’t have to go to the elimination room. He wasn’t very popular for his decision, with the trainers or the other players. His response when one of the trainers called him out on his selfish decision? “I finally put myself first, just like you’ve been telling me to do.”

I’m not convinced that “putting myself first” is the secret to losing weight or getting healthy. Usually that kind of mentality just helps me succeed in losing friends and hurting the people I love. I’d much rather give of myself, without expecting much in return, and be surprisingly rewarded by the love and support I get many times over in return.